Who’d of thought at the grand old age of 26, I’d be writing a piece about overcoming the impacts of social media on society? Certainly not me. I was always the type of girl that sat with a glass… (Ok, OK BOTTLE!) of wine on a Friday or Saturday evening doing the old finger flick on the blue and white Facebook screen, sitting like Golem from LOTR in my dressing gown and Primark jimjams, hair still dripping wet from the shower. Outright stalking my old school friends’ photos and admiring their glamourous lives, with their classic picture-perfect partners on their adventurous ‘date nights’ and I suppose just recently their beautiful extravagant wedding days and gorgeous kids.
Then one night something life changing happened. I was feeling sorry for myself when my partner turned to me and asked why I looked so ‘sad’. My response was in my head but I felt almost mortified to even come out with it.
Bearing in mind this man has seen me naked and has also heard me fart like a tractor in my sleep, and yet I still couldn’t bring myself to tell him what was wrong, because even I knew that what I was about to say sounded absolutely ridiculous.
“She’s bloody married and has a baby and I don’t!” If there was ever a jealous green monster within me, it certainly appeared that very night. Just call me ‘Fiona’ from here on in. I was acting like a child who had been dealt one less piece of chocolate than the others and saying “THAT’S NOT FAIR!” Where was my extra piece of chocolate? (Yes, you read that right. Don’t adjust your screens, I did just use chocolate as a metaphor for life. Sue me.)
Without even a second in response time, he turned to look me dead in the eye and laughed. Expressionless and genuinely not expecting this reaction, I thought to myself; “Does he know something I don’t?!” As it turns out he told me something I knew all along… but apparently, I was so caught up in it all that I needed to hear it from someone else and I’m guessing maybe some of you do to!
- “Megan, how can you be so smart and so dunce at the same time?! (Pausing for effect and smirking at his own witty response.) …People only show you what they want you to see!”
And so, I thought about it and then I thought about it some more. It’s so obvious and makes sense, right?! They want you to envy them with their fancy pants car, they want you to be jealous of their house taken straight out of a magazine, they want to feel superior in their ‘oh so rewarding’ jobs, and they want to impress their family and others with their ‘#PERFECT’ life.
It was like a fog was lifted and suddenly I could see right through Facebook’s hold. The next question I asked myself was, why? The only answer I could come up with and I think is the most relevant, is that these people aren’t happy. Or at least not in all aspects of their lives.
People tend to focus primarily on things that are going well for them and refuse to acknowledge life’s traumas and things that might make them look ‘imperfect’ to the outside world. I on the other hand was carrying out the complete opposite.
However, I have learnt that life is about balance. We cannot have good life experiences without going through the bad first. How else would we know what either are?
Just because the guy you went to school with and maybe had a slight childish crush on, has seven kids, lives in a grand designs house and is married to a woman (that can only be described as having walked straight out of a Victoria secret catalogue, eugh!). Doesn’t mean their life is in any way ‘perfect’.
That guy in his pristine business suit could be coping with a serious illness, he could be handling debt, he could be filled with stress or anxiety or his wife could just have the personality of a wet paper bag, who knows?! What happens behind closed doors could just well give you the fright of your life but we don’t see that, so we ignore the possibility of it ever being an issue. Alas, appears the copious amounts of posts about “living my best life”. Vicious circle really.
It is a scary time to be alive when you’re surrounded by picture perfect Kodak moments on every corner stop of the internet. Social media can and has been the root of many forms of evil.
I’ve spent the better part of my life comparing myself to others, I’ve only just recently learned to avoid doing so. It’s about stopping for a split second on your own and thinking – “If I get annoyed or upset over this…is it really going to change anything?!” 9 times out of 10 I guarantee you speaking from experience, it won’t!
It seems to have frighteningly become the norm in today’s society that we feel an urge to keep up appearances, e.g. someone starts an absurd trend and suddenly we all become sheep! (Don’t even get me started on lip fillers and butt implants girls) enough is enough.
It’s good to reflect and remember that for every person it’s different and it’s so easy to get emotionally involved in things that genuinely have zero impact on our own existence. That being said, now is the time to change how we manage our reactions.
WE set our own timelines and WE need to remember that. If we let others define how we are supposed to live and when we are supposed to experience certain milestone events, then we are never really being our true selves.
In other words – The only things in this life you have complete control over, are your actions and reactions. So, make each and every one of them count.
Stop taking life so bloody seriously all of the time and stop letting others tell you; ‘God has a plan!’ Make your own damn plans. Do things at your own damn pace. YOU. DO. YOU and let the rest of the world worry about themselves.
My timeline in a nutshell:
Born – 1992
&
Living life my way ever since.
